Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
