He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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