i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
