I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
