Apparently you make a good broom.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
