just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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