i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
