nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
whose parrot is this?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
