He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
