Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
