If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
