I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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