Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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