the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
