are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
