the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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