all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
