I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
