After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
