is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
