I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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