I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
