what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
