When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
