: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
