yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
