Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
