is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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