My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize