I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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