Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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