So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize