$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I deserve this hangover.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
