i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
