i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
