Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Too much gin, very little bucket
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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