you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
