i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
