On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
