Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
