IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
