i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
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