i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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