I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize