wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
