apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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