Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize