You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
