Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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