he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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