Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
