is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
