Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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