she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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