do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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