Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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