Your dad touched me again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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