Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
