none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
