Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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