Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
