Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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