Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
