Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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