The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
